HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOMMA, I MISS YOU

Here she is, number one mom in my book. Lord, the trials the woman went thorugh and there was always that smile on her face. She & my dad worked hard, hard like I will never know and the generations after me can never imagine. They packed fruit the first part of their marriage and followed that around the state of CA. They saved enough money, even with my dads drinking and gambling, to buy a grocery store. That was in 1953 (dad had quit drinking in 1944,the year I was born) and they worked 365 days a year for the first five years.Then they started taking holidays off, later Sundays.But, being a small town, were always on call if someone needed something.Mom went to work at 8am, after getting my sister and me up for school and didn't get off until 7p.m. For the holidays she cooked the big dinners of 25-30 people (only having the one day off).

I was asmatic and she would sit at night when I would have my attacks leaning up against my headboard, holding me up against her so I could breathe..starting her day again as usual..sometimes this went on for days.My dad was not an easy man and she lead a life of many disappointments and heartbreaks. But, she always smiled. No one ever knew what went on. When they divorced after 29 yrs of marriage the whole down was surprised. There were no Oprah's to give her guidence and insight into her needs and what she deserved..she just loved her family and did what was best for all of us. I cannot imagne how tired she must have been at times. I now wonder what her thoughts were as she laid in her bed at night, knowing what faced her tomorrow. I never saw or heard her cry except when my grandmother, her mother passed away. Again when my step-dad, the love of her life, passed. 

I was her baby, and I loved every second of it until I was 47 yrs old when she died. My life has never been the same without her. But, she lives on inside me, she guides me because I know what she believed in, how she felt about certain things and that God was the foundation to build it all on. I did not truly understand all that until I went through trials,  troubles and climbed moutains in my own life. Her strength will always be my strength. Hardly a day goes by that I don't talk to her about something, or she leads me in a direction that I feel safe with.