Sissy

Just a few more days & I will see my Sissy. My last talk with her left me broken hearted. She was groggy, like she had been drugged when I first got a hold of her..but, she recognized me & we chatted a little. Then I told her I was coming out to visit & she went to pieces..crying, begging me to hurry, she was so lonely, I just couldn't understand what it was like to be in that place. I scared me at first, thinking that I had really messed things up..got her all upset..but then talked to her for a bit & she calmed down.  I later got a hold of my niece, Judy, the next morning..she told me that Sis was a little difficult to handle & that they were having to drug her a little to keep her calmed down. She really needed one on one supervision & they weren't staffed for that.  BUT, Judy's sister, Jennifer who is a home sitter was/had moved to Los Banos & they were moving Sis to her place that weekend..whew. That will be better...I hope.  But  now worry about the girls..that is a huge responsibility & could be very hard to watch & be a part of.

So, next week should be a mixture of joy & sorrow. It will be nice to visit with my old work buddies again at the W&B Reunion. Hopefully Sis will be in a better frame of mind. I find out before I get there what to anticipate when I arrive.

As the time grows nearer I think Bob & I have made a big mistake by not taking out insurance for home care. I am sure at this stage of the game is it pretty expensive. We know someone that has his wife in a nursing home & has had to go back to work to be able to keep her there. If it was Bob going into one there is not job I could get that would allow me that type of money.  Man, hindsight is ugly....

I love driving in & out of our subdivision. There is always, well, nearly always, an egret in one of the ditches..if not several, getting lunch or dinner. They are beautiful. I love to see them fly off. They are so graceful. Sometimes I feel sad as I am not sure how long it will be that they won't be here anymore..at least not in our neighborhood. 

When we first moved here there were wild turkeys walking in the yard several times a week. Then they started building housing. Ripping out woods,bull dozing the land..dead animals started showing up on the roads. They had no place to go. 

We have three new subdivisions & a new school now. A couple of months ago one of the larger Baton Rouge hospitals bought land, with a large lake on it, across from where we live. They are putting in a med center..doctors offices & emergency care..they tore out the woods, ruined the lake. Ran all the turtles off. Used to judge the day by how many turtles were out sunning themselves on the logs in the lake.

Progress? I don't think so. Coming from California & seeing what 'progress' has done to that state. I used to say that I wished they would put a fence around LA & not let the outside world in.. but, think it is too late now.

Makes me sad. But at least the egrets can fly..they will go into the woods in out laying areas...until man catches up with them again.

All we have to do is ask..He is waiting-always.

A few weeks back I fell, & will not go into the whole story there, but it was a hard one. All I will say is never try & stop a large dog, running full out!

A week later I was almost to where I couldn't get out of bed. My back & hip was in bad shape. A week after that (two weeks total) I went to my doctor. He said yes, back was strained, muscles in knots & bruising on the inside. He gave me pain meds & a muscle relaxer to take for two more weeks, said if it was still bothering me to call & he would refill. He told me that type of injury lasts 4-6 weeks. Because I was able to move after a hot shower without much pain that there was nothing broken or cracked.

I took them Fri night & was able to get a good nights sleep but when I woke Sat morn, oh, the pain. So took them twice Sat..it would let me know when they were wearing off if I stayed in one position too long.

Sunday got ready for church, didn't take them as I didn't want to get drozy in church. Pastor called for healing that Sunday. I went forward & while they prayed over all that did, I prayed & talked to God myself.

I have NOT taken the lids off the pills since that Sat night. I wake up in the mornings able to get up, after my morning prayer & thank you to a most loving & healing God. All I needed to do was ask. Not even beg, just ask..

Sissy Update....

Have we entered another level? How many more do we have?

 My beautiful Sissy had to have an emergency operation a couple of months ago. She went into rehab, to get her back on her feet after the infection cleared up. I am not sure how well this was for her mind.

When I talked to her last week she informed me she was reading in bed, at home, doing well. I was surprised as I had NOT been told she had left rehab.  I talked about how hot it was here in Louisiana, getting all errands ran in the mornings so we could stay inside in the afternoon,blah blah blah. We laughed & talked some more & then, for some reason I felt I needed to say this...so, you are enjoying being home again.. her reply.. Oh yes, BUT you know how it is here in Louisiana, so hot & humid that we have to stay inside in the afternoons... OK, red flag!! she is in California.  After getting a hold of Judy I find she is still in the rehab center. Could/should be doing much more than she is but is enjoying the pampering she is getting there..oh, how sly. Do I laugh, or cry?

I laugh. in the beginning I would hear a lot of  'my life has not turned out the way I wanted, but, I make the best of what I have. It could be worse..'  I don't hear that anymore. I feel that is a good sign. She no longer remembers that her life isn't what she had planned...and, if she has to stay inside in the afternoons because of the Louisiana heat & humidity...so be it. So do I!!!

Everytime I call, I pray before that when I say..hello Sissy, just calling to see how you are doing...that I get back the same reply... hello baby, so good to hear your voice...  the day that doesn't happen, that she doesn't know who I am, then, I will cry.

Happy Birthday Bob!

April 7th, Bob's 71st birthday. My goodness where does the time go. Treated him to dinner out & then on the the Centroplex to see Straight No Chaser, an acapella group. He loves that music. They were great & he did enjoy himself. Came home & had cake...being so close to Easter his cake was one of the traditional Bunny Cake.. all in all it was a wonderful evening.  Sometimes I look at 'us' & marvel at all we have been through & still able to live, love, laugh with one another. It just shows that you can't give up, joy comes in the morning.Looking forward to many more birthdays, for both of us..

Who Am I - Today

Hmmm, just celebrated my 68th birthday. I guess since I went to my 50th class reunion in March this should not have been a surprise to me. But, somewhere along the way I lost count. I had to stop & think about where all the time had gone. Roads traveled, people that were there, and now aren't. It has been a long walk, run, skip, hop & jump. The bumps, tears, joys & failures have been many..but you kow what - all of it has made me who I am today. I could be better, but, I have been worse(lots). I could be happier, but, I have been sadder(lots). All in all, not a bad trip. I hope it goes a lot longer.

I do know that since allowing God in my life it has gotten a lot easier. All the things that I used to think were so important, aren't. Trying to be a better person today than I was yesterday IS! It seems folks are running in circles these days. More More More seems to be the thought of the day. I have gotten to the stage of life that I need to get rid of it all. All this, that I thought would make me happy, hasn't...but I have found it..inside of me. I had it all along & didn't know it.

I had someone say to me many years ago...you go through life, learn all these lessons, get smart and then you die..but that's OK as no one wants to hear them anyway..they are too busy learning their own. But all that is a whole other blog!

A Visit with Sissy....

In March we too a trip to CA for my 50th, yes, I said 50th High School Reunion. Of course we stopped in Los Banos on our way down to Cambria (I am from the Central Valley but we decided to have this on the coast). Met my neice Judy, her husband Raudel & my most precious Sissy for dinner. She has continued her journey with Alzheimers.The repeating was a little more this time but the smile & laughter was still there. She has since had her gallbladder removed & it was septic so she was very sick.She is in rehab now trying to regain her strength to be on her own again.Need lots of prayers for her & her family for the days ahead.

Jan 2012 How time flies...

wow, it has been a while since I was here. Going to try & do better about that.  I also think I have made THAT statement before also. I think I have too many places that I write in/on & therefore, do none of them justice.

I am recovering for a total hysterectomy...which, I am sure was Gods way of slowing me down, letting me take a good look at my life. I had so much junk going around in my head.. and then, when I thought it could all be over...started looking at it from another direction. Blame starts to change its face. Should it be blame...or consent? Was it forced on me, or, did I fall in behind? Did I share in all the things that happened around me? Unfortunately, I came up with yes...that we are in full control of our own life, we just have to do it.

As it turns out, nothing to be afraid, it is all gone and it was negative. So, can breathe easy with that.  BUT, all the things I had in my mind are still there.

This year, 2012, I hope to make changes to my life..to try & find some of the things within me that I have lost. A spark that was there & seems to be covered by so much that has happened over the past 20yrs. It took 20yrs so it will not be over, resolved or put in motion, in one sitting.

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